If you talk Negative, you'll get Negative - The Secret

Oh yes, I regretted saying all the 'Taik' in all those 3 different languages. It was like a calling for a bad return of the day. Hence, the bloody super worse wedding dinner reception of the year last night. I was brutally victimized and had to hang in there for a bloody horrible 3 hours.

Let's talk briefly about this wedding I happened to obligingly attended.

1. It's one of those datuk, datin, tan sri , nonsense what nots wedding with super duper god knows unrelated to the family organizing the wedding kinda wedding. In short, a typical rich ass Malay wedding. Booo...

2. Okay fine. The setup is like a typical dinner reception la, got sitting and all, very organized until an extend of too bloody hell organized and protocol full of shit. Wedding suppose to be fun and happening okay!

3. The organizer ie the inviting family of the bride made the whole 100 over ish guests waited for the newly weds to arrive at the hall in a tremendously, awesomely fashionably excellent Malaysian Timing, which was like 1 hour away from the expected time of arrival for all other guests. The 1 hour waiting period was an excruciating bloody arse wait because you'll find yourself bloated with air because they served nothing on the beautifully decorated table for 10 except for a pathetic petite bowl of crackers. Within that 1 hour, we ended up munching on that crackers and gulping down that small little Hersey's Kisses chocolates they placed for each patrons as that typical token you get on the all typical Malay wedding. And and, let's not forget that super red 'Air Sirap' with an ultra high sugar content which is proven a close to potent drink for a diabetic. EXCELLENT!

4. Then comes the typical 'tepung-tawar' ceremony. The best part is, people who are a complete strangers (ultra VIPS of the day) to the newly weds where ushered first to do the ceremony as a sign of bloody stupid disrespect to their own frail grandparents and equally 'happy' parents. Hooray, the elders of the family get to 'tepung-tawar' the ceremony at the last of the queue. Excellent when it comes to the cue of 'family comes first'.

5. Next comes the recital of prayers (doa). I was getting excited thinking that I get to eat once the doa for the 'food' is done. Much to everyone's disappointment, the doa recital when on and on and on and on, sounding nothing like the short doa for makan, instead sounded more like 'doa kesyukuran or doa selamat' kinda thingy. Ok fine. We said our Amin but it didn't stop there. Still no food to be served yet.

6. Next, the recital of a surah Luqman which was very lengthy(approx. 15 minutes tops) and I could sense the discomfort of the Indian couple at our table. As for me, I was doing the eye rolling thing to the lady sitting next to me while she gasps in totally bewilderment like ,"Alamak, bace quran pulak ker" or the "omg this is so not happening" kinda look.

7. After nearly 2 hours of waiting and shifting around my seat and sms-ing my friends into glory and 1 purposely missed call later, we finally got served. It was late, people were no more hungry except probably a tad gassy inside and wanted to just gobbled up a bit and leave. Food was alright because we were hungry okay and it's that typical oily, dry, no veg food to make the food tastes supposedly healthy and thumb sucking delicious. Bah!

8. Then comes dessert with a weird 'concoction' of vanilla ice cream, some sprinkles of choc rice and get this, a sweet sour TAPAI! OMG! Like who the hell, created this type of dessert??? and I thought only kampung people eats tapai...hahaha...no offense okay, just a thought.

I skipped the hot drinks and kept indicating to my mum to chow and get the hell out of there. She did finally thought ,"oh well, I think we should leave" after a few minutes of waiting the super VIP to leave the 'hell' in a slow-mo ass manner. Great.

I grabbed my car keys, skipped the hand shaking thank yous with the organizing family whom I know no one and happily zoomed out for home.

Thus, the moral here is : If you think bad, you'll get bad. If you think good, you'll get good. So always, think good people. Avoid thinking bad and of course being bad.

Moral again : Never agree to attend a wedding that you know neither the bride and groom or the family members

Moral again again: Weddings are suppose to be fun, this was the worse wedding I've ever attended and if the wedding got VIPS or super VIPS like Sultan and Menteri, don't think twice about attending. Just DO NOT ATTEND! It's hell and full of protocol shits and left you hungry and regretting. Haha.

Oh well, this post is not a brief preview of the wedding I'd attended. It's a surprise if any of you even bother reading this long post.